Life update....

So it's been a while since I opened up about my recent struggles so I thought I would give you an update on where I am at the moment and what I've been up to....

I have been told I'm brave for opening up but believe me I don't feel brave! The good news is therapy has started and I'm starting to understand myself better and the route of my problems, it's a journey but I'm on the right road to recovery. Thank you to everyone who reached out to offer their best wishes and virtual hugs, I really appreciate your support and understanding.  I have been touched by the personal messages where others have opened up and have shared their emotional battle scars with me. 

The risk with blogs and social media is that everyone looks like their life is fabulous but I hope I have showed that everyone can have a bad day/week/month/year but not everyone will want to share it and that's fine. My blog is supposed to be a happy, crafty place and I wouldn't usually choose to share something so personal but I hope I have helped others in some way, even if it is to realise they are not alone and that there is help out there. 

If there is one thing I have learnt it's not to compare my life and success based on the highlights of others on social media. So if you are having a bad time of it, don't think you are the only one and everyone else is living the high life, the truth is you don't know what is going on behind the computer screen.

So what else have I been up to....
Although I've been quiet on here I have been doing crafty stuff, I've been working in No3 Royston and focusing my production to replenish my stock in there. I was pleased I was able to attend the Royston Craft fair that I had booked.  If you are a regular reader you know this is a favourite of mine.  I've made great friends and it is a good excuse to catch up with other crafters as well as promote the shop.

I had a lovely day out on an Art Deco Photowalk, organised by the talented Kate of Made By Mrs M. There were 6 of us, I only knew Laura (of Bugs and Fishes) who I've met up with before on fun days out and it was lovely to meet the others. 

I had a great time meeting new people, looking at tube stations in a different way as well as getting to practice with my DSLR camera on manual. I'm pretty pleased with some of the photos. I just need to go through them all now. Don't worry I will be sharing them in a post soon, but here's a taster....

In other news....

Meet Jenson, the newest addition to fizzi~jayne's HQ! 

He's been with us for nearly 7 weeks now and he's the most lovable pup, even when he's naughty! He's called Jenson because he's cute as a button (like the racing driver!) and he's an F1 Cockapoo! He even has his own Instagram account and at this rate he will be more popular than me on there. He has been a welcome distraction and been keeping me busy. 


I've made him a toy by upcycling an old fleece jumper....

I can hide treats in it as well for him to find.

What's planned for the future....

The plan for the next couple of months is to work part-time hours and focus on getting ready for Christmas.  I have been planning ideas for my blog and will be working on new posts in the next few weeks.  

This time out has helped me to take a step back and given me the space to think about how I want to develop creatively. Hopefully I will soon be in a much better place soon and ready to take on the festive season as well as anything else the world has to throw at me!

fizzi~jayne x

An honest and open post about my recent struggles....

I'm going to be very honest with you now, I've had a crappy few months and I have tried to keep going but I have lost my mojo. It's up and left and taken my creativity, writing ability and general get up and go with it.  We all have times like this and sometimes it's best to power through or change the routine to inspire and mix it up a bit.  This has not helped me and I'm going to tell you why in a very open and honest post.

I have battled with mental illness for most of my life and I normally keep it under control and under wraps, some of my friends and family don't know.  Not because I have intentionally kept it from them but it's not my opening line when I meet someone, "Hi, my name is Fiona I suffer with OCD, depression and anxiety, nice to meet you!" can you imagine?! I don't let it define who I am so I don't mention it unless it's relevant to a conversation. In my teenage years when it started there was such a stigma so I kept my difficulties quiet and when I was working I kept it private as I didn't want it to affect my career prospects but now I feel more comfortable to be open, it also helps me too to be open.

Recently the depression has taken hold of me which affects my OCD symptons.  I recognise things have taken a turn for the worse so I have sought professional help. Creating and making things used to be my distraction and saviour but it just doesn't cut it any more, sadly. To be honest nothing gives me joy. I'm doing what I can when I can so it means my business is suffering and I am not achieving the goals I have set. My writing for this blog is becoming sporadic which I also didn't want, it gives me more of a reason to beat myself up!

I know I have an emotional few months ahead whilst I go through CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) again. It won't be easy but I have to keep positive that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel once I get through the hard work.  I am very lucky that I have a supportive husband and great family and friends around me.  Whilst I focus on my mental health, I may find it difficult to post regularly and update my shop with new products. I want to get well and be able to get ready for the busy Christmas period and start 2017 a happier and healthier me.

I also thought this was important to share because I know there are millions like me out there and I want you to know that you are not alone.  You can still achieve things in your life but you just have to know when you need to get a little bit of help and don't be ashamed to ask. If you are suffering please don't do it alone, speak to family or friends if you can but please, please go and speak to your doctor. I may be going through a difficult time but I'm feeling positive that I will survive and will be back to my usual self.

Life's a journey and sometimes there are pot holes in the road along the way but they can be fixed.

fizzi~jayne x